Sports upsets, both big and small, happen every day. In championship games and in the ordinary regular season games. And everything in between. Through all our wins and losses during my 13 years coaching the University of Kentucky women’s basketball team, we were nonetheless able to achieve sustained success.
I recall in 2012 when we lost a game at Alabama. That year, Kentucky finished first in the SEC with a record of 13-3, and Alabama finished last at 3-13. Worst beat first. As that old sports adage goes, “On any given night…”
This example points to something much larger about how we define success. I don’t remember precisely how I reacted, but I’m sure I wasn’t particularly happy about us losing (and obviously it’s still in my memory!). However, we only lost three conference games all year in the SEC. That was sustained success for the season. It came out of a culture built on a relentless commitment to preparation.
I mean no disrespect to Alabama, but in that particular season I’d rather have been us, no matter the outcome of one game.
Fundamentally, whatever rare upset we suffered, our belief in our ability to maintain sustained success didn’t waver. Our filters on our thought processes around defeat were healthy.
Now pause and be honest for a moment. Think of a recent loss or setback you had in your work life. It could be big or small. Was there something you could have reasonably done to avoid it or some way you could have generated a different outcome? How did you handle it emotionally and how did you think about it? Did you beat yourself up with negative self-talk? Did you let it roll a little too quickly off your back and not take any lesson from it?
One of the key reasons the right mindsets are so important is that they keep you from wasting energy on unproductive activities. If your tendency is to overemphasize and overreact to setbacks, you’re wasting energy focused on the outcome instead of thinking, “What processes can we improve to become better prepared for the next situation?”
Whether your reaction takes the form of an internal pity party or relentless inward criticism, you’re robbing yourself of time and energy you could be spending getting ready to win the next time.
Instead of drowning in unhelpful negativity, I recommend honestly analyzing a defeat for what you can learn from it. Learning to do this equips you with a valuable tool to improve your next performance. The lesson learned will direct your vision to a forward path. You’ll move onto your next challenge with the confidence gained from a lesson learned, not with pointless hand wringing that makes you feel less confident.
Think of it this way: Perspective is your attitude toward an outcome, good or bad. An honestly evaluated defeat leads to proper perspective.
If you suffer from a bad mental filter about how you process defeats, it’s possible to change it. You absolutely can develop a belief in sustained success, and the stronger you make that belief, the further you will go.
Over the next week, pay close attention to the conversation going on in your head while at work. Make a conscious effort to look at how you process challenges that arise at work.
-How much time do you spend complaining, either out loud or in your head?
-How much time do you spend worrying about circumstances that you can’t control?
-Do you frequently think chaotically, and work through problems piecemeal, as if you’re fighting one brush fire after another?
If these are your habits of mind, you’re convincing yourself that circumstances outside your control are in charge of your life instead of you.
It’s true that sometimes circumstances do impact us in ways that are beyond our control. But just because you can make a good and justified complaint doesn’t make it a good use of your time. In fact, it’s always a waste of time to spend time nursing and rationalizing complaints. You have problems to solve and key moments to prepare for instead.
The way out is to stop these negative thoughts. Interrupt those old patterns and retrain your brain in new habits through these actions:
- List changes you can make. When you start complaining, stop and make a list of what practical changes you could make to be better prepared to counteract whatever you’re complaining about.
- Take action. When you catch yourself worrying about circumstances beyond your control, interrupt yourself and ask: What’s one action I could take right now to address my work challenge? And then take that action. Your mind will shift from worry to practical action and will spike your confidence.
- Find solutions.If you find yourself always barraged by problems and continuously fighting fires, ask yourself: What principles could I be using to categorize these problems and solve them permanently? Cut through temporary solutions and find clarity that allows genuine progress toward actual solutions.
- Become aware of what you feed your brain. Another way to think about this is in terms of the content you feed your mind. When resetting your mindsets, what you let run around free inside your brain does matter. Train yourself to follow your thoughts and discern the content that you’re feeding your brain. If your content is all about complaints and the impact of external forces, that’s like feeding your brain a steady diet of junk food. You can choose different content, it just takes effort and time.
Mastering your thought process will give you the mindset that enables you to crush self-sabotage and keep driving your team in the direction of sustained success.
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